Category Archives: Awesome

Just A Quickie

Hey all!

Just a quick note to say that now that they finally got me in the kitchen, I love it!! I love my new job. I think I’m going to be very happy there.

Also, if y’all helped out on my request for VooDoo Gris-Gris, let me know when you need me to reciprocate. I don’t take VooDoo Gris-Gris exchange promises lightly.

Seriously. Why risk with messing with that.


Long Live the Geeks!!! (Well, Whovians, for the sake of this post)

Did I ever tell y’all about the time I had the TARDIS engine noise as a ring tone?

Once a year the college up here does this big thing at the Engineering building for kids. They bring out cool projects to demo, cook foods using really neato science – then give it to the kids and have really neat science ans engineering activities for kids. Other groups come in too, like the youth Robotics league, and demo all their projects. It is totally worth your day and really cool! And, lets face it, science and engineering geeks and nerds are pretty damn awesome to hang with.

Anyway, Hellian and I were in the big common area with about 150 other people looking at all the cool robots and science projects when my phone rang. Seeing that it was a friend, and not super important I stuck it back in my pocket, making a note to call him back later.

It’s funny how it started. The guy doing the demo we were watching got quiet. Then the people nearest me all fell silent. It was like ripples on the water. The noise just stopped in a wider and wider ring around my ringing phone. About the time my phone stopped ringing, the silence had reached the middle of the room. Around the time, maybe 20 seconds later, someone started talking again, my phone rang again. Again, the TARDIS engines rang out. This time, the whole room fell silent within the first two rings.

I could see it. All these people, many of them well educated, reaffirming the rational bits regarding Doctor Who within their minds: “Doctor Who is just a television show. It’s obviously a ring tone or recording. It’s not the TARDIS showing up in Fairbanks. The Doctor isn’t real, he’s only a fictional character on television”

And then, then, magic happened. A voice, a lone child’s voice range out, breaking the silence. “MOM! MOM! THE DOCTOR IS HERE! MOM! I HAVE TO GO FIND HIM! OH MY GOD! MOM! IT’S THE TARDIS! MOM!” Then, a kid (guessing about 7-8 years old) tore out of the room, shoving into people and leaving a slightly desperate woman (assuming his mom) trying to catch him in his wake.

But seriously, think about it. Yeah, the adults got quiet because it’s nice to believe, even for a moment, that someone like the Doctor is real, but we’re grown ups. We’re old, jaded and cynical. Magic is nothing but illusions and tricks. Fairy Tales are just stories. Monsters and dragons have long since turned into horrible bosses, bills, looming deadlines and over drawn bank accounts. Yeah, we like to pretend to believe that The Doctor could be real, but we never really do. I mean, that stupid adult voice in the back of our brain will never really lets us. But this kid, this amazing child, just had the very best day ever. His hero, this man who travels through space and saves people, he was real. For that day, that moment, the impossible happened and he was delighted.


Huh.

Appently, Seth ate 18 wings and had a tall beer for lunch.

I’m an alcoholic and just had a beer for lunch.

Dawn was the only one who ate balanced, ish.

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“Hamburgers. Hamburgers With Cheese”

Did I ever tell y’all about the time when Phillip was 3 and we picked up our puppy from a cow farm?

Our red heeler made babies with an adorable blue heeler and we got one!

We drive out to Smudges baby’s momma’s owners cow farm to get our puppy.

Once there Mo (baby’s momma’s owner) took Phillip over to the fence, pointed out the cows and asked if Phillip knew what they were.

 

Phillip: Hamburgers.

Mo: What?

Phillip: Hamburgers with cheese.

 

My kid is broke.


The Cool Kid?!

Today was my kiddo’s first day at school. He loves his Head Start program and all I heard for the last week was “AM I GOING TO SCHOOL TOMORROW?”

So, finally, today was the day. And, we get to school and he stuffs his gear into his cubby outside the classroom and runs in without so much as a look back or “bye mom”.

As I’m heading into his classroom I overhear this:

 

Kid 1: HEY! Phillip’s back!

Kid 2: Who’s that?

Kid 1: The cool kid in class.

 

My kid, the cool kid in class? Seriously? He’s four. He wears super hero undies, is a Dr Who geek, AND IS FOUR. How do 3-5 year olds even know what cool is?

Sigh.


Because Sometimes You Just Need Denis Leary To Sing The Asshole Song To Turn Your Day Around

This came up on my playlist shuffle on my way into work today.

Totally turned my day right around.


Fail Better

Samuel Beckett said it best, “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”

I’ve failed, so many times.

I’ve fallen, I’ve hurt, I’ve been in dark places so many times I’ve lost count.

We had a family active day a week or so ago. I skated and my hubs and kiddo rode bikes.

Phillip wasn’t watching where he was going and was riding all crazy like and wiped out. Twice.

The second time he fell we had this little convo:

Phillip: I don’t wanna get back on my bike. I’m just gonna fall again.

Me: I know buddy. But, you know what? You’re gonna fall some more, no way around that. You just have to keep getting back up and try again.

Phillip: For ever? I’m gonna have to keep getting back up forever?

Me: You have no idea the profound epiphany you just had at four years old, kid.

Phillip: What?

Me: Yup, for the rest of your life you’re going to have to keep getting back up and trying again.

Phillip: Well, that’s just great. *sigh*

___________________________________

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”

This is me. Failing better.

How about you?


Tattoos Are A Pretty Sweet Get Out Of Jail Free Card

Me: It’s pretty fucking awesome.

Seth: *pinch*

Me: What?!?! Am I not supposed to say fucking?!

Seth: There’s little kids around.

Me: Like they could actually hear me. Besides, the parents will see my tattoos and be all “Oh, she’s one of those girls.” and figure it’s all par for the course.

Seth: *sigh*

Me: I should get more tattoos. I can get away with so much unacceptable public behavior with them! It’s like a totally awesome hall pass.

Seth: No, no it’s not.

Me: You’re right! They’re more like a totally fucking awesome get out of jail free card!

Seth: *sigh*

Now for context.

Seth and I were at the airport waiting for our red eye flight to go to Orlando Florida for a week. Not the totally awsome trip to Orlando y’all are thinkin’ about. He was going down for recurrent training for the airplane he flies for work and I had an ass load of work to bring with me. But hey, at least I got to sit poolside and get my work done.

That part was kinda sweet.

And by kinda I mean really fucking sweet.

I didn’t even burn, well, I did, but it tanned out right away. Except my legs, those suckers never get color so it was like virgin sun burn territory.

Anyway, I was reading Jenny Lawson’s (www.thebloggess.com) book Let’s Pretend This Never Happened (Totally sweet book. You need to read it) and kept snickering. Seth asked if the book was really that good. That’s when this convo happened.


My Kid Is Screwed

When we were kids, our parents had the threat of baby pictures being shown to whatever friends came over to the house. I remember getting I mad when my mom or dad would threaten to take out the naked baby pictures.

I mean full-out teen rage. How could they even think about ruining my life like that? Didn’t they care that if they showed the pictures I would have to live the rest of my life in witness protection? I would never be able to show my face again. Ever. Not even kidding. I was naked in a bunch of those pictures. I was covered in baby gross and those really should have been burned. What the hell mom and dad?

Now, I’m a parent and I have options. Thanks to these here interwebs, I can embarrass the shit out of my kid. One picture posted to his facebook wall, one tweet, one video uploaded to YouTube, and everyone he knows will see it.

See, I’m not a collector on any of the social media sites. Those I’m friends with are people I would invite over to my house. Not teens, though. Teen are “friends” with everyone in their high school, and the neighboring high schools, and random people who friended them.

One post man, just one nekkid baby picture posted to his wall for 10 minutes will be spread throughout his friends list like wild-fire.

It’s gonna be epic.

My kid is so screwed.


How I’ll operate from now on

 

Liz TaylorCapital idea.

 

Just might be my new MO.

 


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