There are so many things coming out can refer to. We all know the biggest reference is when our GLBT friends and family let us know that they are GLBT. Personally, every time I hear of another person who stands up and tells the world who they are, I applaud them. I also feel heart ache when I hear of family and friends who turn their backs on our GLBT friends and family because of who they are. No one should have to hide or lie about who they are just because of bigots in their inner circle.
This heart ache, and the feelings of rage I feel for such ignorance and bigotry gives me drive to help. But, sometimes, the little you do pales in comparison to the forces working against you. It’s enough to make you feel like nothing you do matters, it feels as though the blood, sweat and tears are nothing more than just wasted energy. How can one person make a difference against a large, national organization.
Lets look at the Boy Scouts of America for an example.
My father has been a Scout Master for most of my life. Honestly, some of my earliest memories are hanging out at troop meetings with him. I have one sister and my dad’s scouts were like my brothers. To this day I am still close with several of them. I have seen how scouts have helped so many young men. How it has given them a foundation with which to build their lives on. I have seen boys with poor home lives, boys with single parent homes, boys living with neglect and boys recently pulled from abusive homes. I have personally witnessed boys who, by all rights, should have wound up in the worst of adult lives. But they didn’t, and they attribute their success and stable lives to what the BSA had taught them.
Then, on July 17th 2012, this happened: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/18/us/boy-scouts-reaffirm-ban-on-gay-members.html.
I cannot begin to tell you the anger I felt towards the organization that I witnessed help so many. I wanted to do something. I wanted to go to the BSA headquarters and start a protest. I wanted to write a letter, I wanted to make phone calls, I wanted to show my utter disgust with them. But, I’m just one person. What in the hell could I do that would make a difference.
Then, I found this movement:
It’s one I cannot join, simply due to the fact that I am not a boy scout and will never earn my Eagle. But, reading these letters, seeing the straight Eagle Scouts stand up for what they know is both true and fair, it made me cry. Then I started looking deeper. At least 50% of these letter writers, these amazing men, who are returning their medals and awards have held them since the 60’s and 70’s. These men have held their Eagle in a place of honor and displayed it with pride for over 40 years. And now, even stating that their Eagle had been the biggest point of pride, they listed it on their resumes, displayed it on their walls, encouraged every young man they met to join, they wrote these moving letters stating why they couldn’t in good conscience continue to support the BSA.
I’d like to say thank you to those brave men and young men who are standing up and doing what is right.
I’d like to also say that while I cannot take the stance these guys are taking by sending in the mother of all Boy Scout awards, I did send in a letter stating exactly how I saw the BSA shape many amazing lives and outlining the damage I foresee this stance doing.
I also have decided to volunteer at a few places that are an inclusive group dedicated to helping kids (of all races, backgrounds and sexual orientation) thrive and form a firm foundation to build their lives on.
If you’d like to find a few, this is a good place to start: http://www.bsa-discrimination.org/html/groups.html
You can also to a search in your city’s offices for alternatives for the BSA.
I guess when this post is said and done, I’m saying this.
See, sometimes, my favorite times, people come out in the most beautiful ways.
They stand up and say, I am a proud woman and I fell in love with this amazing, vibrant, beautiful, wonderful lady. She completes me and we want to spend the rest of our lives together.
Or, it can happen in quiet ways. A guy friend just shows up to a big gathering with his boyfriend. Nothing but polite introductions and a few acknowledging nods to mark the occasion.
Then again, some people come out to reaffirm they are bigoted ass holes.
Just know, when you are confronted with those scared, ignorant, hateful people, I’m here to be your friend. I’ll stand by you, I’ll hold your hand, I’ll laugh with you, cry with you, help you in whatever way I can. We’ll find comfort with each other and laugh over how sad those little closed minded people really are.
And, since I’m really am far more crass than eloquent, say it with me y’all: FUCK THOSE GUYS!!
I love you just ‘cuz you’re here. I don’t give a rats ass if you’re gay, lesbian, bi, transgender, straight, or into fucking food (true story, know a guy who was really into it). I don’t care. Are you a person? GREAT! C’mere I need to give you a hug. You are awesome and doing just fine. Let’s go get some coffee or a bagel. Hell, let’s be crazy and do both!